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You breathed in the robust idea of being alone
in the milky way with nothing on your back
but the silk cloth of skin
and you exhaled the heroic sovereignty of saving
the poor polluted starlight,
cradling sweet nothings about how those
luminous explosions in the sky were
the iridescent threads and ribbons
that kept our planets gently knit together.

You told me the galaxy was filled
with incandescent jewels
things like topaz encrusted souls
and cosmic layers of adoration made of
bright celestial spirits.
You had whispered your final
words with the quiet sublteness
of a moon just passing by,
saying or rather deciding that
"Stars are just diamonds with a lightbulbs intentions."
Inspired by Maddison Abbamondi's gorgeous photo which you can (and must!) check out here: [link] ALSO THIS by her as well: [link]

Alot of her work isnpires me, so I should start giving proper recognition. Thank you for the inspiration!
did the piece flow well?
what are your thoughts on the theme/concept of the piece?
was the word choice efficient?
Add a Comment:
palesile Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Student General Artist
This is flawless... and I'm not entirely sure why it brought a few tears to my eyes but it did. (Not even kidding, two tears actually just made it down my cheeks) Beautiful.

It flows without a single hitch, truthfully. I didn't feel any hiccups, and I didn't have to reread any lines to grasp what was supposed to go with what. (If that makes sense)

Your entire concept was meant to be incredible from the start, I feel. These kinds of pieces, when they come to mind, I think even you knew that this was going to be absolutely phenomenal. It goes right with your inspiration too!

And your diction was asdfghjkl. <- That's hard to do. This poem took my breath away. And I know this comment may seem annoying in that I don't have any advice on what you could've done differently but honestly dude this doesn't need improvement. I want to paint this on my wall...
TheStoyTeller Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
First of all, your support is the world to me. Your comment wasn't annoying at all. Wether you offer improvement or wether you simply compliment me until I'm blushing like a red rose the fact that you take the time to read and commment (and especially an amazing comment like that) seriously means EVERYTHING. Your kind words let me know what I'm doing right and it is people like you that really make me want to keep writing and give me hope to pursue a new level of writing.

So again, I thank you. I want to thank you for letting me know that it effected you in such a deep way. Most people go without letting others know how they feel, so its awesome that you did that. I'm glad you loved it so much. Thanks again! (x1,000)
palesile Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Student General Artist
You're very welcome!
seeinglight Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013   Photographer
Aw, I love it! Thank you for crediting me.
TheStoyTeller Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad you like it! And you are so very welcome.
Add a Comment:

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Submitted on
January 15, 2013
File Size
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